Status: Initial Detection Goal: Recognize how the grip is first applied under the guise of safety, rescue, and special status.
[ THE PRISONER’S COMFORT ] — “You better be glad you were kept under tutors until this day… the alternative is appalling. If I hadn’t grabbed you, what then?” This tactic frames the loss of your autonomy as a rescue mission. The leader convinces you that your natural state is dangerous, making the control feel like a protective embrace. Detective Question: Does someone make you feel like you would be a disaster or a failure without their constant oversight?
[ THE SURVIVAL HOOK ] — “I might be physically dead… it’s not me doing it, it’s God doing it… and it was!” High-control dynamics often start with a “death threat” to your soul or life. By convincing you that you were on a path to destruction before you met them, the leader makes you feel that your life belongs to them. Detective Question: Does someone constantly remind you of how “lost” or “broken” you were before they saved you, as a way to keep you from questioning them?
[ THE DISQUALIFIER ] — “Sheep are not Christians… Until the picture of John 12:24 is fulfilled, you are not a Christian, let alone born anew.” This is identity erasure. By keeping you in a lower status (a “sheep”), the leader ensures you never feel worthy of an equal seat at the table. Detective Question: Do you feel like you are always in a “waiting room” of acceptance, never quite “real” enough to be fully part of the circle?
[ THE CONCEIT DEFENSE ] — “You will hear many from now on call me conceited… but you know better.” This is pre-emptive poisoning. The leader warns you that outsiders will think they are arrogant, so you dismiss common-sense warnings from your family as “persecution” or “attacks.” Detective Question: Does your leader warn you that your family will think they are “crazy” or “too much”?
[ THE ISOLATION PROTOCOL ] — “Why is it that there is no fellowship between me and other Christians? First of all, I gave up long ago.” Isolation is how high-control groups stay secret. By declaring the rest of the world “blind” or “lesser,” the leader builds a wall that prevents you from having an external reality to compare your experience against. Detective Question: Is your circle restricted to only those who agree with the leader? Are you encouraged to distrust anyone outside your group?
[ THE “FUN” REACTION ] — “For three days I was saying ‘well at least I’m back into having fun again.’ But I mustn’t… I mustn’t back into interests.” This treats personal joy or interests outside the group as dangerous distractions. The leader frames “fun” as a lack of seriousness, making you feel that misery or constant group “work” is a sign of superior devotion. Detective Question: Are you made to feel guilty for having hobbies or enjoying yourself in ways that don’t involve the group?
[ THE JIG IS UP THREAT ] — “The jig is up. They are out there fantasizing that they shall be safe… they are not safe. There is and will be no longer anywhere to hide.” This is extreme fear-mongering. By tell you there is “nowhere to hide,” the leader removes the possibility of a quiet exit. To leave is to enter “danger.” Detective Question: Are you told that people who leave the group are “delusional” or “unprotected” in the real world?
LEVEL 2: THE COGNITIVE REWIRE
Status: Logic Bypass Goal: Expose how language is used to bypass critical thinking and create psychological dependency.
[ THE HYPNOTIC COMMAND ] — “Words out of your mouth: ‘very clearly,’ ‘very crystal clear,’ ‘you will understand.’ All those words are hypnotic words to repeat over and over… you are being pulled in.” High-control leaders use repetitive, assertive language to bypass your logic. By constantly telling you things are “clear,” they pressure you to agree just to avoid looking “blind.” Detective Question: Do you find yourself agreeing that things are “clear” even when your gut feels confused?
[ THE “GIFT” WITH A PRICE ] — “Salvation is a gift, while under the counter you have to earn it by faith. Why don’t the brothers marry? Because they have no confidence.” This is a double-bind. By calling something a “gift” but attaching secret requirements to “earn” it, the leader ensures you never feel worthy to make your own life decisions. Detective Question: Are you told love is “unconditional,” but you’re exhausted by the list of requirements to keep that person happy?
[ THE FUDGE FACTOR ] — “Fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge… I notice three different theories rolled into one. You don’t need three, you only need one.” The leader mocks any member who tries to find their own nuance. By calling your thoughts “fudge,” he treats your mind as a messy, invalid thing so you stop trying to think for yourself. Detective Question: When you try to explain your perspective, are you told you’re just being “confused” or “mental”?
[ THE DENIAL OF MANIFESTATION ] — “Sister: ‘There’s evidence of the Spirit being made manifestation.’ Stewart: ‘Says who? Prove it. NEXT!'” This is the systematic crushing of intuition. By demanding proof for your feelings and then barking “NEXT!”, the leader trains you that only his authorized version of reality counts. Detective Question: When you share a personal success or feeling, does the other person shut you down or demand you “prove” it?
[ THE MOVING GOALPOSTS ] — “It is time for you to transfer your allegiance from my spirit to His Spirit… but you’re still in prison.” Control thrives on keeping the finish line moving. Just as you feel you’ve achieved what was asked, the leader tells you that you are “still in prison,” keeping you dependent on him for the “next” level of release. Detective Question: Every time you “get it right,” is a new “mystery” or requirement introduced that makes you feel like you’re back at square one?
[ THE HYPNOTIC BUCK ] — “Where does the buck stop? Well it has to be on your level… Fortunately, lately, there’s been so much now you are numb enough that it can be partly slipped in.” This is a chilling admission. The leader acknowledges that members are “numb” from pressure and uses that exhaustion to “slip in” even more radical and controlling ideas. Detective Question: Do you feel so exhausted that you find yourself just agreeing with whatever is said next, just to avoid more conflict?
[ THE SCORECARD TRAP ] — “Now how’s the score card going? How do you tell the difference between a big sin and a little sin? Since you’ve obviously decided something.” This tactic mocks your attempt to find moral clarity. By attacking your “scorecard,” the leader leaves you without a standard of judgment except for his own personal mood. Detective Question: Do you feel like the definition of “doing a good job” changes depending on the other person’s mood or latest demand?
[ THE ONE-PAGE FALLACY ] — “Why didn’t God just tack one more little chapter at the end of the Bible? Just one page to spell it out? Why did He leave us at the mercy of grievous wolves?” This creates an artificial vacuum of information. The leader argues that truth is “missing” in order to make himself the only person capable of providing the “missing page.” Detective Question: Does a leader claim to have the “hidden” or “complete” version of truth that nobody else has discovered for years?
LEVEL 3: THE HISTORY ERASE
Status: Controlled Demolition Goal: Show how leaders use “confession” and “radical change” to delete your past and avoid accountability.
[ THE SAND FOUNDATION ] — “This teaching is a house built on sand. It is based on error and contains appalling errors.” Admitting massive error can be a strategic move to clear the slate. By declaring his own past teaching was “sand,” the leader effectively deletes your entire history and trauma, allowing him to rebuild a new system on the same spot. Detective Question: Has someone ever “confessed” they were wrong just to stop you from questioning the past, only to demand you follow their new path?
[ THE SHARED VICTIMHOOD ] — “There is a real way in which I have been as or more a victim than you… think of that. You didn’t waste 25 years.” This is a competition for pity designed to silence those who have been hurt. If the leader is the “ultimate victim,” you feel guilty for being angry or seeking accountability. Detective Question: When you bring up how someone hurt you, do they turn it around and explain how they are actually the ones suffering?
[ THE REWIRING OF MEMORY ] — “I sat here at the last meeting noticing I was unable to put together grace, election, sanctification. The great teacher unable.” The leader uses a public display of “unlearning” to force you to unlearn your own life. It forces a “reset” so he can install new control without resistance from your old memories. Detective Question: Does the group go through “total resets” where the old rules are replaced by a new, urgent “revelation”?
[ THE WITNESS VETO ] — “If you testify that you sinned, forget it. You are testifying against yourself. By the words and the mind of the apostles, you were not [born again].” The leader gives himself the power to decide if your life experience is real or false. By vetoing your memory, he becomes the only one who can define who you are. Detective Question: Has someone told you that your own memory of a positive change was actually “a delusion”?
[ THE DEBT OF FORGIVENESS ] — “Does anyone find this incredible? That Stewart would treat forgiveness for 17 years of verbal and emotional abuse as a ‘topic’?” Treating decades of trauma as a clinical meeting topic is a way to detach from the reality of the harm caused. It forces the victims to perform “forgiveness” on the leader’s terms. Detective Question: Has someone who hurt you ever treated your pain as a “subject for discussion” rather than offering a sincere apology?
[ THE SEMANTIC VOID ] — “I now see how those words [Grace] were empty. I wasn’t conscious of what I was really saying, just what I was taught.” By claiming words were “empty,” the leader makes you feel that your entire spiritual history was a lie. This hollows you out so he can refill you with his new definitions. Detective Question: Has someone told you that your most meaningful experiences were actually “empty” or “fake,” forcing you to look to them for a “real” experience?
[ THE RE-START BUTTON ] — “God is starting our church all over again. I was starting from scratch then, and that’s what I’m doing now. How do you like that?” This is the “Amnesia Tactic.” It is a way to skip over the hard work of making amends for the past, replacing it with the excitement of a “new chapter.” Detective Question: Does the group start “new visions” every time the leader gets caught in a mistake or a scandal?
[ THE THEORY OF STEWART ] — “We’ll go into the theory of Stewart, because it must be totally explained… I don’t understand my history, this is impossible.” In a high-control group, the leader’s personal history becomes the group’s “holy text.” It ensures your attention is always on him—even when he is “confessing.” Detective Question: Is the personal life or “history” of your leader the primary topic of conversation?
LEVEL 4: THE ULTIMATE GRIP
Status: Total Subjugation Goal: Confront the deepest psychological traps—the fear of ultimate safety and the demand for self-annihilation.
[ THE DEAD MAN’S SINLESSNESS ] — “There’s only one kind of man that will never sin… and that’s a dead man. You must consider yourselves dead to sin, but you can’t.” This is a demand for self-annihilation. Since you can’t stop being human, you are told to “die” to your self, making you a blank slate for the leader to manipulate. Detective Question: Are you being told that your opinions, needs, and personality are things that need to “die”?
[ THE BEYOND HELL THREAT ] — “Chuck: ‘If you would have died a year or 6 months ago… Heaven or Hell?’ Stewart: ‘Definitely Hell.'” This is the ultimate “Grip” on the future. By holding your ultimate safety over your head, the leader ensures you stay because you are terrified of what happens if you leave. Detective Question: Is your primary motivation for staying a fear of what will happen to you spiritually or emotionally if you leave?
[ THE DOCTRINAL TRAP ] — “No one born of God commits sin… he cannot sin. If anyone ever sins, he is not a Christian at all! That sound surprising?” This creates an “all-or-nothing” identity trap. One mistake means you “never were” part of the group, keeping you in constant fear of being cast out. Detective Question: Are the standards for being “in” so high that you have to lie to yourself about your own struggles to feel safe?
[ THE DOUBLE-LIFE DIAGNOSIS ] — “Do you have two lives going or one? The fact that we still have a vague hope in this life is proof that we have never been born anew.” This declares having a private world as proof of failure. It forces you to give up your private identity to prove your devotion. Detective Question: Are you told that your personal interests or “hopes” are obstacles to your devotion?
[ THE ARROGANT CLUB ] — “The buck has to stop in you… or go join an arrogant club. Take your pick or sit in limbo forever.” This is a false choice designed to shame independent thought. By framing confidence as “arrogance,” the leader forces you to choose between his path of self-doubt or being labeled a “proud” person. Detective Question: Are you told that having firm convictions is a sign of pride?
[ THE OUTSIDER’S WARNING ] — “Outsider John: ‘All those words are hypnotic words… you are being pulled in.’ Stewart: ‘I’m sure they agree we need to stay calm.'” The leader dismisses a direct warning by appealing to “calmness.” He frames the person speaking truth as “heated,” using group peer pressure to ignore the actual warning. Detective Question: Has a friend ever warned you, only for you to dismiss them because they weren’t being “calm” enough?
[ THE LIMBO PROTOCOL ] — “The limbo that we’ve had will never exist again… you know what I mean, and that’s part of the sick feeling. All the thoughts of the accuser.” Limbo is used to make you crave the leader’s clarity. By labeling anxiety as “thoughts of the accuser,” the leader teaches you to ignore your own intuition. Detective Question: Do you have a “sick feeling” about your relationship, only to be told it’s just “doubt” you need to pray away?
LEVEL 1: THE RECRUITMENT FOG
Status: Initial Detection Goal: Recognize how the grip is first applied under the guise of safety, rescue, and special status.
[ THE PRISONER’S COMFORT ] — “You better be glad you were kept under tutors until this day… the alternative is appalling. If I hadn’t grabbed you, what then?” This tactic frames the loss of your autonomy as a rescue mission. The leader convinces you that your natural state is dangerous, making the control feel like a protective embrace. Detective Question: Does someone make you feel like you would be a disaster or a failure without their constant oversight?
[ THE SURVIVAL HOOK ] — “I might be physically dead… it’s not me doing it, it’s God doing it… and it was!” High-control dynamics often start with a “death threat” to your soul or life. By convincing you that you were on a path to destruction before you met them, the leader makes you feel that your life belongs to them. Detective Question: Does someone constantly remind you of how “lost” or “broken” you were before they saved you, as a way to keep you from questioning them?
[ THE DISQUALIFIER ] — “Sheep are not Christians… Until the picture of John 12:24 is fulfilled, you are not a Christian, let alone born anew.” This is identity erasure. By keeping you in a lower status (a “sheep”), the leader ensures you never feel worthy of an equal seat at the table. Detective Question: Do you feel like you are always in a “waiting room” of acceptance, never quite “real” enough to be fully part of the circle?
[ THE CONCEIT DEFENSE ] — “You will hear many from now on call me conceited… but you know better.” This is pre-emptive poisoning. The leader warns you that outsiders will think they are arrogant, so you dismiss common-sense warnings from your family as “persecution” or “attacks.” Detective Question: Does your leader warn you that your family will think they are “crazy” or “too much”?
[ THE ISOLATION PROTOCOL ] — “Why is it that there is no fellowship between me and other Christians? First of all, I gave up long ago.” Isolation is how high-control groups stay secret. By declaring the rest of the world “blind” or “lesser,” the leader builds a wall that prevents you from having an external reality to compare your experience against. Detective Question: Is your circle restricted to only those who agree with the leader? Are you encouraged to distrust anyone outside your group?
[ THE “FUN” REACTION ] — “For three days I was saying ‘well at least I’m back into having fun again.’ But I mustn’t… I mustn’t back into interests.” This treats personal joy or interests outside the group as dangerous distractions. The leader frames “fun” as a lack of seriousness, making you feel that misery or constant group “work” is a sign of superior devotion. Detective Question: Are you made to feel guilty for having hobbies or enjoying yourself in ways that don’t involve the group?
[ THE JIG IS UP THREAT ] — “The jig is up. They are out there fantasizing that they shall be safe… they are not safe. There is and will be no longer anywhere to hide.” This is extreme fear-mongering. By tell you there is “nowhere to hide,” the leader removes the possibility of a quiet exit. To leave is to enter “danger.” Detective Question: Are you told that people who leave the group are “delusional” or “unprotected” in the real world?
LEVEL 2: THE COGNITIVE REWIRE
Status: Logic Bypass Goal: Expose how language is used to bypass critical thinking and create psychological dependency.
[ THE HYPNOTIC COMMAND ] — “Words out of your mouth: ‘very clearly,’ ‘very crystal clear,’ ‘you will understand.’ All those words are hypnotic words to repeat over and over… you are being pulled in.” High-control leaders use repetitive, assertive language to bypass your logic. By constantly telling you things are “clear,” they pressure you to agree just to avoid looking “blind.” Detective Question: Do you find yourself agreeing that things are “clear” even when your gut feels confused?
[ THE “GIFT” WITH A PRICE ] — “Salvation is a gift, while under the counter you have to earn it by faith. Why don’t the brothers marry? Because they have no confidence.” This is a double-bind. By calling something a “gift” but attaching secret requirements to “earn” it, the leader ensures you never feel worthy to make your own life decisions. Detective Question: Are you told love is “unconditional,” but you’re exhausted by the list of requirements to keep that person happy?
[ THE FUDGE FACTOR ] — “Fudge, fudge, fudge, fudge… I notice three different theories rolled into one. You don’t need three, you only need one.” The leader mocks any member who tries to find their own nuance. By calling your thoughts “fudge,” he treats your mind as a messy, invalid thing so you stop trying to think for yourself. Detective Question: When you try to explain your perspective, are you told you’re just being “confused” or “mental”?
[ THE DENIAL OF MANIFESTATION ] — “Sister: ‘There’s evidence of the Spirit being made manifestation.’ Stewart: ‘Says who? Prove it. NEXT!'” This is the systematic crushing of intuition. By demanding proof for your feelings and then barking “NEXT!”, the leader trains you that only his authorized version of reality counts. Detective Question: When you share a personal success or feeling, does the other person shut you down or demand you “prove” it?
[ THE MOVING GOALPOSTS ] — “It is time for you to transfer your allegiance from my spirit to His Spirit… but you’re still in prison.” Control thrives on keeping the finish line moving. Just as you feel you’ve achieved what was asked, the leader tells you that you are “still in prison,” keeping you dependent on him for the “next” level of release. Detective Question: Every time you “get it right,” is a new “mystery” or requirement introduced that makes you feel like you’re back at square one?
[ THE HYPNOTIC BUCK ] — “Where does the buck stop? Well it has to be on your level… Fortunately, lately, there’s been so much now you are numb enough that it can be partly slipped in.” This is a chilling admission. The leader acknowledges that members are “numb” from pressure and uses that exhaustion to “slip in” even more radical and controlling ideas. Detective Question: Do you feel so exhausted that you find yourself just agreeing with whatever is said next, just to avoid more conflict?
[ THE SCORECARD TRAP ] — “Now how’s the score card going? How do you tell the difference between a big sin and a little sin? Since you’ve obviously decided something.” This tactic mocks your attempt to find moral clarity. By attacking your “scorecard,” the leader leaves you without a standard of judgment except for his own personal mood. Detective Question: Do you feel like the definition of “doing a good job” changes depending on the other person’s mood or latest demand?
[ THE ONE-PAGE FALLACY ] — “Why didn’t God just tack one more little chapter at the end of the Bible? Just one page to spell it out? Why did He leave us at the mercy of grievous wolves?” This creates an artificial vacuum of information. The leader argues that truth is “missing” in order to make himself the only person capable of providing the “missing page.” Detective Question: Does a leader claim to have the “hidden” or “complete” version of truth that nobody else has discovered for years?
LEVEL 3: THE HISTORY ERASE
Status: Controlled Demolition Goal: Show how leaders use “confession” and “radical change” to delete your past and avoid accountability.
[ THE SAND FOUNDATION ] — “This teaching is a house built on sand. It is based on error and contains appalling errors.” Admitting massive error can be a strategic move to clear the slate. By declaring his own past teaching was “sand,” the leader effectively deletes your entire history and trauma, allowing him to rebuild a new system on the same spot. Detective Question: Has someone ever “confessed” they were wrong just to stop you from questioning the past, only to demand you follow their new path?
[ THE SHARED VICTIMHOOD ] — “There is a real way in which I have been as or more a victim than you… think of that. You didn’t waste 25 years.” This is a competition for pity designed to silence those who have been hurt. If the leader is the “ultimate victim,” you feel guilty for being angry or seeking accountability. Detective Question: When you bring up how someone hurt you, do they turn it around and explain how they are actually the ones suffering?
[ THE REWIRING OF MEMORY ] — “I sat here at the last meeting noticing I was unable to put together grace, election, sanctification. The great teacher unable.” The leader uses a public display of “unlearning” to force you to unlearn your own life. It forces a “reset” so he can install new control without resistance from your old memories. Detective Question: Does the group go through “total resets” where the old rules are replaced by a new, urgent “revelation”?
[ THE WITNESS VETO ] — “If you testify that you sinned, forget it. You are testifying against yourself. By the words and the mind of the apostles, you were not [born again].” The leader gives himself the power to decide if your life experience is real or false. By vetoing your memory, he becomes the only one who can define who you are. Detective Question: Has someone told you that your own memory of a positive change was actually “a delusion”?
[ THE DEBT OF FORGIVENESS ] — “Does anyone find this incredible? That Stewart would treat forgiveness for 17 years of verbal and emotional abuse as a ‘topic’?” Treating decades of trauma as a clinical meeting topic is a way to detach from the reality of the harm caused. It forces the victims to perform “forgiveness” on the leader’s terms. Detective Question: Has someone who hurt you ever treated your pain as a “subject for discussion” rather than offering a sincere apology?
[ THE SEMANTIC VOID ] — “I now see how those words [Grace] were empty. I wasn’t conscious of what I was really saying, just what I was taught.” By claiming words were “empty,” the leader makes you feel that your entire spiritual history was a lie. This hollows you out so he can refill you with his new definitions. Detective Question: Has someone told you that your most meaningful experiences were actually “empty” or “fake,” forcing you to look to them for a “real” experience?
[ THE RE-START BUTTON ] — “God is starting our church all over again. I was starting from scratch then, and that’s what I’m doing now. How do you like that?” This is the “Amnesia Tactic.” It is a way to skip over the hard work of making amends for the past, replacing it with the excitement of a “new chapter.” Detective Question: Does the group start “new visions” every time the leader gets caught in a mistake or a scandal?
[ THE THEORY OF STEWART ] — “We’ll go into the theory of Stewart, because it must be totally explained… I don’t understand my history, this is impossible.” In a high-control group, the leader’s personal history becomes the group’s “holy text.” It ensures your attention is always on him—even when he is “confessing.” Detective Question: Is the personal life or “history” of your leader the primary topic of conversation?
LEVEL 4: THE ULTIMATE GRIP
Status: Total Subjugation Goal: Confront the deepest psychological traps—the fear of ultimate safety and the demand for self-annihilation.
[ THE DEAD MAN’S SINLESSNESS ] — “There’s only one kind of man that will never sin… and that’s a dead man. You must consider yourselves dead to sin, but you can’t.” This is a demand for self-annihilation. Since you can’t stop being human, you are told to “die” to your self, making you a blank slate for the leader to manipulate. Detective Question: Are you being told that your opinions, needs, and personality are things that need to “die”?
[ THE BEYOND HELL THREAT ] — “Chuck: ‘If you would have died a year or 6 months ago… Heaven or Hell?’ Stewart: ‘Definitely Hell.'” This is the ultimate “Grip” on the future. By holding your ultimate safety over your head, the leader ensures you stay because you are terrified of what happens if you leave. Detective Question: Is your primary motivation for staying a fear of what will happen to you spiritually or emotionally if you leave?
[ THE DOCTRINAL TRAP ] — “No one born of God commits sin… he cannot sin. If anyone ever sins, he is not a Christian at all! That sound surprising?” This creates an “all-or-nothing” identity trap. One mistake means you “never were” part of the group, keeping you in constant fear of being cast out. Detective Question: Are the standards for being “in” so high that you have to lie to yourself about your own struggles to feel safe?
[ THE DOUBLE-LIFE DIAGNOSIS ] — “Do you have two lives going or one? The fact that we still have a vague hope in this life is proof that we have never been born anew.” This declares having a private world as proof of failure. It forces you to give up your private identity to prove your devotion. Detective Question: Are you told that your personal interests or “hopes” are obstacles to your devotion?
[ THE ARROGANT CLUB ] — “The buck has to stop in you… or go join an arrogant club. Take your pick or sit in limbo forever.” This is a false choice designed to shame independent thought. By framing confidence as “arrogance,” the leader forces you to choose between his path of self-doubt or being labeled a “proud” person. Detective Question: Are you told that having firm convictions is a sign of pride?
[ THE OUTSIDER’S WARNING ] — “Outsider John: ‘All those words are hypnotic words… you are being pulled in.’ Stewart: ‘I’m sure they agree we need to stay calm.'” The leader dismisses a direct warning by appealing to “calmness.” He frames the person speaking truth as “heated,” using group peer pressure to ignore the actual warning. Detective Question: Has a friend ever warned you, only for you to dismiss them because they weren’t being “calm” enough?
[ THE LIMBO PROTOCOL ] — “The limbo that we’ve had will never exist again… you know what I mean, and that’s part of the sick feeling. All the thoughts of the accuser.” Limbo is used to make you crave the leader’s clarity. By labeling anxiety as “thoughts of the accuser,” the leader teaches you to ignore your own intuition. Detective Question: Do you have a “sick feeling” about your relationship, only to be told it’s just “doubt” you need to pray away?